Random Thoughts During A Global Pandemic
On March 13th I packed up my desk knowing it was time to leave my office for the unforeseeable future and say goodbye to working in the lab with colleagues. A quick hello to the Intel DWG Gaming Lab and my co-workers at Jones Farm 3! I miss you all and hope to see you again…someday? I felt like I had pushed it too long, and the time to stay home was now. Schools closed March 16th with the announcement coming the Thursday before I packed up. Initially closing for a while and eventually the full year. Now we wonder when schools will open again.
Looking back it started with a trip to China in November, and not a concern was on my mind or my family. It was a great trip, I finally made it to the great wall and climbed the stairs in the cold of November. Everything was ok in the world, it was the end of 2019, and everyone was looking forward to saying goodbye to such an awful year for whatever their reasons. We all seemed to agree ’19 sucked and it was time for a change. Remember that? All the kvetching. Careful what you ask for.
By January my trip to Japan had us thinking maybe I should be wearing a mask on the flight. I returned on the 23rd of January, landed, and went straight to Mexico and then landed back home in Portland OR, on the 2nd of February and headed straight to our good friend’s 50th and 60th birthday party.
The jokes at the Super Bowl Party, that Sunday, of all of our guests getting infected by us due to my recent trip to Asia, was a sign of the lack of seriousness we had towards the coming pandemic. Even with my friends in China on lockdown, we joked about getting it. We joked about what would soon be a global pandemic that has kept us home, our kids out of school for the past two months, and counting and so far has killed two hundred six thousand people.
We did all get some form of illness after the trip to Mexico, and we have not been tested and like a lot of us, we think we may have had the virus but do not know.
I am now at the start of week 8 of social distancing / hunkering down. We are still at a new level of anxiety we had not experienced prior, a new baseline, but we are calmer or used to it or a combination of the two.
We have connected with family and friends in deeper and more meaningful ways. Ways that remind older people like me of the times before the iPhone.
We have also had our rough days, moments, and interactions with each other. Some very dark moments, some very sad moments, and the boys are learning how to express their emotions and be around us while we are learning how to cope and do our best.
I have empathy for those sick or who have lost someone close to them.
I have empathy for those with little ones and both partners working.
I have empathy for single parents.
I have empathy for the teachers and educators who lost their classrooms and students for the remainder of the year.
I have empathy for the students missing out on graduation, prom, senior day, and all that is a part of being in school and moving on from one year to the next.
I have empathy for the children not able to get their meals from their usual sources.
I have empathy for the mothers that lost what little space they had finally earned and became teachers, along with having no space.
I have empathy for those of us learning how to work from a new space with new tools.
I have empathy for those of us now out of work. That has to be a horrible feeling in these uncertain times.
I have empathy for those who lost their business. Their life's work.
I have gratitude and empathy for those working the front lines, saving lives, feeding people, delivering items to our doors. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We have our good days, our bad days, our slow days, our ok days. Sometimes it is just phases or moments. Sometimes we all hit a wall and can no longer do much. And that is ok. What are the guidelines and or expectations for proper behavior, parenting, and being during a global pandemic? I left my handbook at the office, can anyone send me a copy?
We are lucky! So lucky! I have a job. We have a home, food, and for now our health. We do have close friends who have been sick but luckily are recovering. We are super lucky and we know it.
We do our part to help where we can through charitable donations, ordering local food, purchasing locally, book exchanges in a safe way, we have a system, and by staying the F home. We love our walks, bike rides, and brief social distance safe visits on occasion when we see a neighbor on a walk.
We have grown accustomed to virtual, visits, happy hours, D&D sessions, doctor visits, meetings, and family check-ins.
I do not miss my commute, being on a plane constantly, being in random hotel rooms, and long international flights. I do miss interacting with people in random fun new ways, exploring new cities and food. I miss seeing my friends at trade shows and having great meals with them. Again super f*&^ing lucky guy and I know it.
When I speak with my friends in China who have been going through this longer than us, they all say we need to be mindful of our mental health. This is going to have a lasting impact on a lot of us. This is a lot of stress and anxiety for the world. We also are most likely facing an economic recession and that will have a lasting impact globally.
I am learning about me and my family in new ways. I see this as a great thing and a blessing.
I am blown away by how quickly the planet starts to heal, and I can’t help but think maybe Earth just needed a break from us. Yeah, I still have a hippie in me.
I am trying to take it easy on myself my family and my co-workers. Some days I am successful, some days I am not. A little compassion, understanding, and patience with myself and my family go a long way. I try to carry this attitude out with me on my walks, and when I brave the grocery store. And some days I do better than others.
I am getting to read more, write more, play more video games, watch more shows, and walk a lot more with Juno. We have played more board games and had more movie nights than I could imagine and I love them all. We bake a ton and cook more. We are learning how to exercise from home and stay active. We are testing the boundaries of too much screen time. We continue to use our vices in ways that remind of us our younger years and it is all ok.
When will this end? My gut says herd immunity or vaccine and both are not coming anytime soon. I could be wrong, I often am. I also could be right and so I am preparing myself for the outcome that might not be the one I desire, and anything else is a win for us all. What does your gut and or research tell you?
So what is the point of all this? I am just sharing some random thoughts, you might relate with. I hope you found some enjoyment or something from reading this. Maybe just knowing someone else feels similar to how you do, or that someone thought about how you might be feeling in your given situation.
Take care of yourself. Stay safe and stay sane.
Gaming is good for the soul. Game with your family. Music helps me enjoy any moment. Exercise keeps me sane and healthier. Reading is a break we all could use from this world.
If you do not know what to play ask me. I can help you find the right games for you or your family.
Try not to worry or stress yourself out too much over the little things. We all have really big concerns these days and plenty to worry about. When it comes to the little things or the little fights or arguments. In the immortal words of Tripper, “IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER!”
We are all in this together and we got this!
